Your Affect On Me
by VintageEli
Summary: One-Shot. Set just after the events of ME2. Shepard and Kaidan reconnect albeit difficultly. Rated M for sexiness.


All she knows to do is run. Her feet are pounding across the damp ground, trying to find somewhere safe. She spots a couple of crates ahead, and she jumps behind them. She doesn't want to, but she has to stop to let her lungs take in some oxygen. They feel tight and heavy in her chest, and she takes a deep breath before she starts running again.

_The ship… If I can just make it back to the ship…_

It was supposed to be a simple salvage job. The crashed Alliance frigate promised a huge payout, and for the last week everything had been going smoothly. This morning, as she was poking around the frigate's engine room, the screaming began. Every member of the crew started clawing at their scalps, pulling out hair and leaving raw scratches on their faces. They were yelling at her, grabbing for her, frenzied and incomprehensible. She bolted from the vessel, attempting to put as much distance as possible between her and her bloodthirsty crew mates.

She can see the small freighter now, the one they came in on. As far as she can tell, no one else is around, and she slows her pace, walking up into the airlock.

"Please stand by for decontamination," the ship's VI informs her. The doors behind her are closing, and she releases a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Sanitized, the doors to the ship open, and she runs down the hallway to the bridge. Being an experienced engineer, she knows everything there is to know about ships, and she begins preparations for takeoff. Later, when she's off-world, she'll tell the Alliance about her crew, not nearly cold enough to leave them to starve but not crazy enough to try to bring them on board.

Frustration begins to set in as the controls on the holopad do not respond.

"Ship-wide system failure. Please alert your head engineer." The VI repeats the statement over and over every time she tries a command.

"I _am _the head engineer!" she frantically cries. "Start the damn engines!"

"Invalid voice command. Ship-wide system failure. Please alert your head engineer."

"Dammit!" She slams her fists down on the console. Suddenly, she can hear pounding on the airlock door. Her crewmen, her _friends_, are screaming like animals on the other side. She backs up against a wall, sinking into a ball on the floor. Her foot knocks something over, startling her. It's a pistol, and she takes it into her shaking hands. The metal door groans as it is pried open. She can see them down the hall, stumbling dumbly inside like monsters from a 20th century movie. It doesn't take them long to notice her. She holds the pistol up, knuckles white, finger poised on the trigger. They're about ten feet away when the engineer loses consciousness.

She wakes to the beeping sound of a distress beacon and the sight of dead bodies lying all around her.

* * *

"Well, here we are," Miranda declared, stopping in front of one of the many identical ornate doors in the hallway.

"Really, Miranda. I appreciate this, but I'd rather just sleep on the Normandy," Shepard protested.

Miranda arched a slender eyebrow. "Come on, Shepard. A few nights planet-side won't kill you." A yawn interrupted her, but she quickly shook it off. "If you need anything, I'm up on the eighty-first floor, suite B. Try to get some rest," she said, turning to head towards the elevator at the end of the hall.

"You too, Lawson," Shepard called after her, knowing Miranda's workaholic habits all too well. As she boarded the elevator, Miranda raised a hand in acknowledgment. When she was gone, Shepard turned back to her door.

Moving her hand across the green panel in the center, the door slid upwards, revealing the overly-expensive apartment Cerberus had paid for. All of the furniture was composed of black leather with brushed steel accents. She could tell the walls were a warm off-white from the city lights coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows.

It was just after midnight when they docked on Earth, and almost two in the morning by the time she actually made it to her front door. With a yawn she walked over to the kitchen. Opening the fridge she found it to be well stocked, but she only took a beer. She made her way over to a black leather couch, and pressed a command on a holopad on the coffee table to turn on the television. As expected, the only thing on at two in the morning was infomercials showcasing asari cosmetics and turian exercise equipment. Twisting the cap off of her beer, she went over to one of the large windows. The city below was glowing in neon red, green, and blue. She could see groups of people milling around the streets, even this late at night. Skycars and cabs cut streaks of light into the dark sky.

Shepard had wanted to stay aboard the Normandy, and she would have, had it not been for the needs of the maintenance personnel. Being a spacer kid, she had spent most of her life on ships. The sounds of the engines, of the crew, the clicking noise her shoes made when she walked on the metal floors were all comforting sounds for the perpetually exhausted woman. If the television wasn't on there would be no sound in the apartment. The walls muted the sounds of the outside, the plush carpet muffled her steps, and there was no one here to talk to.

"Maybe I'll go for a walk," she idly said to herself, anything to create more noise.

She was still dressed in her Cerberus uniform, so she dug around in her duffel bag until she found a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black pants. Dressing quickly, she checked her makeup in a mirror by the door and grabbed a jacket. As she was sliding it on, she heard quick footfalls outside. Just as they reached her apartment, they slowed, and came to a complete stop. She knew whoever it was had to be standing just on the other side of the door, but she didn't move to open it. There was a heavy sigh and a quiet curse, and then they made an about-face, starting back down the hall towards the elevator. Out of utter curiosity, she slid her hand over the panel to see who it was. Upon laying eyes on Kaidan Alenko, she instantly regretted it.

She made to call out to him, but his name caught in her throat. The sound of the door was enough to make him stop, and she found herself wishing that he hadn't. He turned and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. _Just like on Horizon… _she bitterly recalled.

"Hey," he said, barely audible above the electric hum of the elevator. He was dressed in his Alliance commander uniform, and despite everything that had happened, she couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked.

"Hey Kaidan," she returned, her tone low and pained, her expression just as ambiguous as his. The meeting on Horizon had left her feeling betrayed and alone. She could understand where he was coming from, but his stubbornness had prevented him from listening to reason. He was the last person she wanted to see in the entire galaxy, but here he was, standing at her front door.

"I was around the port when your ship docked, but you were already gone by the time I got there. Anderson gave me this address." He stopped to rub his forehead with the back of his arm, an old habit that was still going strong. It seemed like he was trying to think of something to say, but all he could come up with was, "Did you get my message?"

"Yeah," she coolly confirmed, holding his gaze. Shepard had read it a hundred times, but she would never admit that.

His eyes went to the ground. "I never heard back. I just wanted to make sure you were—"

"I'm fine, Kaidan," she interrupted. She couldn't handle this, not now. "The last few days have been pretty rough. I'd like to go get some rest. Was there anything else?" Her exasperated words hit him like stones, and he seemed to flinch. Did she still have that much sway over him? _He's hurt enough, _she thought, inwardly cursing herself. _I don't have to make it harder on him._

"No, I…" He trailed off, and then his expression hardened into something unreadable. "Yes, Shepard. There's a lot more." He loped down the hall towards her, fists clenched, brow knit in a frown. He stopped just in front of her, so close she could smell his light cologne. His golden brown eyes roamed over her face like they were searching for something. "You think the last few days have been rough? How do you think the last few _years_ have been for me?" he asked incredulously. "You don't get to be mad at _me_. I'd just accepted that you were dead when you showed up on Horizon. I didn't know how to deal with you being alive. I still don't…" His words had been loud at first, but the last sentence was little more than a mumble.

Shepard stood there, just as taken aback as she had been on Horizon, and when she had received his message. Both times she'd had no idea how to respond, and this moment was no different.

Without really thinking about it, she put placed her hand on the side of his face. The contact seemed to soothe him, and he closed his eyes. "Kaidan, I really was dead for two years. Don't you think that if I had been alive I would have contacted you? I tried to after I woke up, but everyone stonewalled me. You were this big important commander on a secret mission, and I was too much of a wild card to be trusted," she told him.

"That was always your title, not mine. It never felt right," he mumbled, referring to his rank. "I still don't understand. _Why Cerberus_?"

"Because, at the time, it seemed like they were the only ones who cared enough to do anything about the Collectors." Kaidan snickered, but she ignored it. "Because they brought me back to life, and eventually, back to you." Her thumb moved gently over his cheek, smoothing over the lines under his eyes. He looked years older than when she'd last seen him.

He bit his lip, taking her hand away from his face and gripping it in both of his. "Shepard," he said through another heavy sigh. His hands moved to her hips, sliding under her shirt and briefly over her sides, sending shivers through her. Letting the hem of her shirt fall, he moved up her arms to grip her shoulders, and then to the back of her neck, finally burying themselves in her hair. Her intricate knot came spilling loose, and his fingers twisted in the soft reddish brown locks. He leaned his head down as if to kiss her, but abruptly stopped.

"I can't. Not while you work for Cerberus," he said, pulling back just a little.

She smiled, heartbreakingly genuine, and whispered. "We had a bit of a falling out. I'm no longer apart of Cerberus, Kaidan." She placed her hands on his back, pulling him closer. "Now, let's pretend like the last two years never happened, okay? Just for a little while." Tentatively she placed her lips on his, and he wasted no time in returning her kiss.

His chapped lips pushed hard against hers, his hands pulling her head up to his. Her own hands were trapped in the small space between them, gripping the front of his uniform. His tongue found its way a little forcefully into her mouth, but she gladly welcomed it. His mouth was warm and sweet, just as she'd remembered. Entangled, they fell against a wall, his body pinning hers to the drywall. Suddenly his mouth was gone, and confused she gasped for breath.

"There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you," he said huskily, fingers cradling her skull. "About us… about this…" His eyes bore into hers, as if he couldn't believe he was actually standing there with her in his arms. She only smiled, one hand releasing his jacket to slide over the green panel on the door. Before he could linger on the last two years a second longer, she pulled him into the apartment. When the door slid shut she shoved him up against it, her mouth finding his again. His hands slid up her back, pulling her tightly to him. Her lips moved from his mouth to his jaw line, licking and nibbling a path to his ear.

"God, I've missed you," he mumbled, letting his head fall back as her fingers made quick work of the buttons on his jacket. She stopped kissing his jaw to slide the garment off of his shoulders. His white undershirt followed, and she let herself admire his body. There wasn't a spare ounce of flesh on him, every muscle hard and well toned. Her hands moved slowly over his chest, her lips chasing her hands, eliciting a low moan from Kaidan. Just as she got to his navel he pulled her back up, beginning to undress her. In a few short moments she was standing before him in nothing but her underwear. His eyes seemed to drink in her form, but his brow knit unexpectedly in a frown.

Puzzled, Shepard asked, "Is something wrong?"

He looked up at her, seemingly just as puzzled. "No!" he quickly replied. "It's just… your scars are gone…"

She let out a small laugh before reaching behind her to unhook her bra. As it fell to the floor, she practically purred, "I know… Gives you a chance to get to know me all over again."

Kaidan chuckled, pulling her back to him. His tongue flicked out over her jaw, dragging its way down a vein along her slender neck and tracing her collarbone. Without warning, he picked her up only to lay her down on the soft carpet behind the sofa.

"I'm sure there's a bed around here somewhere," Shepard said, a grin spreading on her face.

Kaidan was busy undoing the button on his pants, and he pushed them off along with his boxers. Her eyes widened briefly at the sight of his obvious arousal, her mouth instantly going dry.

"I don't think we'll make it that far," he growled as he moved on top of her. He continued his assault on her throat, his tongue leaving hot wet trails over her skin. As he began to move lower, so did one of his hands. He took one of her nipples into his mouth, and Shepard was only able to think of his tongue and the scrape of his five o'clock shadow across her skin. His hand slipped beneath the waistband of her underwear. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt him curl two long fingers inside of her.

However she put her hand on his arm to stop him, trying to remember how to breathe as she said, "Please, Kaidan. I can't wait any longer…" Obeying, he gently removed his hand, finally sliding off her underwear after doing so. He moved so that their bodies fit together almost perfectly, and she took him in her hand, lining his erection up at her slick entrance. Unable to hold back his desire, he thrust deeply inside of her, stopping momentarily to revel in the feeling. Her lungs constricted as he drew back out, almost all the way, only to sink back in. He did this over and over, each time gaining a little more speed, until he was nearly pounding into her. She gripped his back, her nails leaving raw red marks on his shoulder blades. His mouth returned to hers, and this time there was something desperate in his kiss.

A bright crimson flush began to work its way up her body, spreading across her abdomen and breasts. She was just at the edge of letting go, and when Kaidan practically moaned her name, her body suddenly arched upwards in ecstasy. Her entire body shuddering from her orgasm, Kaidan abandoned his rhythm, plunging into her with a new found urgency. Just as she was finishing his entire body tensed up, and he thrust into her so powerfully she knew there would be bruises. Not that she minded, running her fingers through his hair as he finally collapsed on top of her. His head fell on her shoulder, his breath coming in short, hot gasps against her neck.

Neither of them knew what to say, but there wasn't really a desire to speak. Both were simply happy to be with the other. Smoothing Kaidan's dark hair off of his sweat-covered forehead, she pressed her lips to it. He draped an arm over her stomach, his breathing beginning to slow. She absentmindedly traced the contours of the muscles in his back. Her eyelids began to feel heavy and her head was foggy with the need for sleep.

She must have dosed off because she was waking up on the couch. The television had been turned off and someone had placed blanket over her. Early morning light was coming in through the large windows, though somewhat dimmed because of the anti-UV film. Distantly, she heard the sound of running water. Sitting up, she languidly stretched, noting her soreness in all the right places. Wrapping the blanket around her, she had just gotten up to find Kaidan when her omni-tool began beeping. It didn't take her long to find it, and sliding it on she accepted the incoming call.

The bust of Miranda Lawson rose up from her forearm, smirking when she noticed Shepard's disheveled appearance. "Good morning, Commander. Looks like someone took my advice," she smugly said.

"From the dark circles under your eyes, I'd say you ignored it," Shepard retorted.

"No rest for the wicked. Anyway, there was a purpose to this call…" Miranda covered her mouth to release a long, loud yawn. "Ah! Right. I received a transmission from the Illusive Man early this morning," she informed Shepard.

"The Illusive Man? What about and why?" Shepard asked, incredulous.

"He only sent a short message and some intel on a person of interest," Miranda said. "I can't say more now. I've requested that everyone report back to the Normandy ASAP."

With a tinge of disappoint in her voice, Shepard mumbled, "And I was just beginning to enjoy the idea of shore leave." At Miranda's quizzical expression, she added, "I'll be on the Normandy in half an hour."

"See you then, Shepard." With that, Miranda disappeared back into Shepard's omni-tool.

Kaidan's blurred form was visible behind the privacy glass of the shower. Laying the blanket on the sink, she stepped into the shower behind him. He didn't notice her until she wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her cheek on his back.

He turned around to face her, nothing short of a suds covered version of the statue that she and Kasumi had seen in Donovan Hock's mansion. What was it called? David?

"Good morning," he said, taking her into his arms.

"Good morning," she mumbled against his lips, giving him a long kiss before stepping under the spray of the water.

"So I was thinking about what we could do today," Kaidan began, his soapy hands sliding over her back.

"Don't tell me. I don't want to know what I'll be missing out on," Shepard interrupted, grabbing a bottle of shampoo and pouring a dab in her hand.

"What do you mean?" He cocked an eyebrow, his hands resting on her hips as she began working the lather through her long hair.

"Something's come up. I have to go back to the Normandy in a little bit."

"Just the Normandy or…" He trailed off, and then forced out the words, "Off world?"

Heavily she returned, "Isn't it always off-world?"

Without saying anything, Kaidan rinsed off and left the shower.

"You know it's not my choice, Kaidan."

_It hasn't been for a long time._

* * *

A/N: My first [decent] work of Mass Effect fanfiction._ Many, many, many_ thanks to my unofficial beta reader Introjection (who has an amazing Shoker fic on here that everyone should read). I promise the story will have more plot and less sex, but it's always nice to start things off with a bang. (Haha,_ bang_... Get it?) Reviews are _appreciated_ and **encouraged**. _  
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